I give you parental embarrasment........

I'm sure, since the beginning of time that children have embarrassed their parents. According to my mother I have done this on more than one occasion. I tell her she is mental, for I was a wonderful child. The picture of perfection. I spoke when spoken to. I always answered with a yes ma'am or no ma'am. Why, my mother was always complimented on how well behaved I was. Something that my father always took credit for whenever he decided to be in my life.

My mom would love to tell you of the time I unzipped her bathing suit cover up. A cover up that she had nothing on underneath. A cover up I unzipped in front of the Minister. Or perhaps she would tell you of the time while having dinner with my Grandmothers that I blurted out at the top of my lungs that we LEARNED ABOUT WET DREAMS IN HEALTH CLAS TODAY !!! I think was a little upset at having to be there for as long as were, as I thought I was going to miss Miami Vice.

She has always told me that my time would come. Just wait until I had a child of my own. Well I did. He has. The time I took him to the bathroom. He was 2 ½ – 3 and not tall enough to stand and pee. So I place him on several ass-gaskets and then proceed to point the hose down, so as not to get doused. To which he, at the top of his lungs screams “DON'T TOUCH ME THERE !!!!! “ The lady in the next stall suddenly gasped. There was a lot of rattling, like she was trying to get out of the stall and save this child who was being touched. I replied in a very calm voice that, “Yes, that is right no one should ever touch you there except your Doctor and your mommy. And since I fall into the latter category, I'm OK to touch you and I'm not doing so in a bad way, I just don't want you to pee on me” The lady in the stall started laughing. I apologized for the outburst. She said it was nothing. He also went through a phase of screaming “DON'T BEAT ME....DON'T BEAT ME !!!!” when I asked him to get out from underneath the table in the restaurant. Something that he had never done before. To which I would reply, “ I haven't beat you a day in your life but I'm gonna start right now if you don't get our from underneath there !!!!” He would crawl our laughing and laughing.

But never in all the time she has ever uttered those words, did she mention that MY parent(s) would embarrass me. Well not until now that is. She phoned me Saturday to inform me that my father had made the evening news. The father that I don't have any type of relationship with. His choice when I was younger. My choice now that I'm older. I haven't spoken to or seen the man in 7 ½ years. I give you the parental embarrassment.........

A Lakeside Oregon man was arrested after police spotted him operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

Oregon State Police the vehicle in this case wasn’t a car but an adult sized tricycle.
Around 2 p.m. on Friday afternoon an OSP officer contacted a group of intoxicated people at Tenmile Lakes County Park. A 58-year-old Lakeside man identified as William David Bjorkquist told the officer he planned to ride his purple adult tricycle home. The officer advised Bjorkquist, who was under the influence at the time, not to operate the tricycle while intoxicated.
Bjorkquist told the officer he would push the tricycle while walking home.
A short time later, the officer spotted Bjorkquist riding the tricycle against traffic along Park Avenue. The officer then witnessed the man ride through a stop sign and down the wrong side of South 11th street. Bjorkquist was taken into custody and charged with DUII.
He was then cited and released from the Coos County Jail......

What an idiot.