And the Oscar goes to......

I have no doubt in my mind that I will be sitting in the audience one day swelling with pride as I hear the beginning of the phrase that will, I assure you end with my sons name. He can be so dramatic at times. My mother will tell you he gets it from me. I however must protest. And will PROTEST rather loudly.

Scene 1 : Master bathroom / Mother with hands full of product and running it through her wet hair / Child walks, no shuffles in, hand to left ear / cat meowing as he rubs against my legs / *&$$-ing dogs barking outside / me letting out my famous dog whistle and yelling ENOUGH !!!! ***something that has been going on since about 3:00 this morning***

Me: Looking at child through mirror with a “Oh I can't wait to hear this” look.

H: **holding hand to left ear** Do I have to go to school, because it's going to be rather difficult for me to hear the teacher with my ear being plugged.

Me: Yes, you can listen with your other ear. You do still have another ear don't you ?

H: Yes, but ** making yawing motion to pop ear**, I can barely hear. **he does this in a whisper**

Me: Well, I can hear just fine so there is no need to whisper. Besides, why are you whispering if your ear is plugged ?

H: Oh, I thought I might be over compensating ** you know he's faking now** by speaking loudly because my ear is plugged.

Me: Yeah, riiiiggghhhht !!! Hop in the shower and let the steam work its magic. Yawn while in there to try and open up the tube. Rub from behind the ear down towards your throat. You know what to do. So hop, skip and jump to it.

H: *****heavy sigh***** fine

Scene 2 : My office / radio playing / fan on low speed / morning office chatter
Bell chime ** new text message**

H: I don't feel good

Me: What doesn't feel good

H: Everything

Me: Well, if you come home you will go straight to bed no TV no X-box and how will you be able to get your missing assignments from your teachers

H: I'm not coming

Me: Are you sure ? ***i will admit to messing with him right about now** Because if you are truly sick then you need to be home in bed getting better. I will call and see if I can't get you into Cuyler, so he can check your ear out ***he has had several ear problems/surgeries***

H: No
Me: No, what ?

H: Not coming home

There's a Shakespeare play, where the Queen states, “ The Lady doth protest too much, methinks”

Someday, although I would rather he not, he will figure out the fine art “playing” sick, so as to make it more believable. So as to actually “make” it home. However, as long as he is in my house, I will always have one up on him. And unless his is puking on his shoes or in the teachers lap, he isn't coming home !!!! He tends to be hit, out of the blue with sudden illness when there is a quiz/test that he hasn't studied for. Or if there is an assignment he didn't finish or more likely, didn't do. Ohhhh, to be a kid again.

At least when I could tell the teacher I had “really” bad cramps and...... ****said teacher, usually male would just hold their hand up in a “stop right there” motion and send me home***** And with a turn of my head, a wink of my eye and an innocent little smile, I'd be out the door ***doubled over in pain*** and on my way home. Maybe I should have the Oscar. I think I shall go work on my acceptance speech now !!!!

Amazing....

My son is my life. My everything. Every thought, every plan, every choice, has been about him and for him. I couldn't imagine my life any other way. Does it get hectic ? You bet. Do I barely have time for me ? You bet. Do I miss being the center of attention ? No I do not, because I am his center. That's all I need and that's just fine with me. It is who I am right now.

I decided the minute he was born that he would attend a CS (christian school). My now husband, his father, fought me tooth and nail. He thought my reasoning was because PS's (public school) now a days aren't all they're cracked up to be. In truth, some are not. That wasn't why. I wanted him in an environment that supported every value he was taught at home. He wouldn't get that in a PS.

J is VERY anti-God. Very outspoken about it as well. Having had H in a Christian environment from birth, he is very set in his belief of God and will argue until blue in the face of His existence and all He has done. I couldn't be more proud of how my child stands his ground. He is very passionate about it.

So when I had to put him in a PS for HS (high school), it terrified me. It's bad enough being 14 and having to deal with all the changes. The physical changes alone are scary enough. Not only did he have to leave the comfort of the only school he had ever known. A majority of his friends all went to different schools. There are a total of 3 students from his Cornerstone days that attend the same HS. Out of those 3, he is only close with 1.

We signed him up for football thinking that he would gain new friends and therefore wouldn't feel totally alone when school started. Then he went and broke his foot. He had to have surgery. That ended practice. He still went to practice to learn the routes/calls/plays, so that when he was able to play he wouldn't get annihilated his 1st game back.

His Defensive Coach died Tuesday morning. He's upset. Understandable. The entire team from Freshman to Varsity is upset. They have spent the last 2 days in the Media Center making posters/banners/cards for his family and to honor him at tonights Varsity game. They told stories. Laughed. Cried. Consoled each other. Then my son told me something that I NEVER thought I would have heard.

They prayed. They bowed their heads. They held each others hands and they prayed. They prayed for comfort. For peace. For understanding. They simply prayed. I started to cry. So did my son.

Maybe PS isn't as horrible as I think. Maybe, he and I can make it through his HS years !!!!

I have become, that which I swore, I would never become......

I don't EVER remember being “vocal” with my Mother, about the decisions she made. Decisions, mind you that were obviously made to keep me from having ANY fun in my life. AT ALL !!! At least that's how I viewed it at the age of 14. It would appear that I have turned into my Mother, on some level. Just ask my 14 year old !!!!Here is the argument via phone and text that my son and I had today regarding him NOT wearing his Air Cast for the last 7 days of his 2 month total. Please keep in mind that he broke his foot (3rd toe). I don't mean just broke it easy. I mean broke the knuckle portion of the toe clean OFF the foot bone it is supposed to be attached to !! LSS, we were told it was a sprain. Even though the x-rays showed different. He was at Camp and at some small town hospital. Not that there is anything wrong with small town hospitals. Well, I have a biased opinion. Disputed the Insurance paying the bill and am having said hospital refund the Insurance Company the money they paid. So by the time the x-rays got to his Orthopedic Dr., it had been almost a month. When the Dr. informed us that he could clearly see in the x-ray ** the origianl one** that it was broken !!! So he went a month with a broken toe and no blood flow to the end of the toe. He needed surgery. 4 days before the wedding !! But that's another story/post all together

Via Phone :

H ~ Mom, Dad said that if I put my Reggie's on and can run from J's (our neighbor) driveway to ours and it didn't hurt, that I didn't have to wear my Air Cast at Youth Group tonight.
Me ~ No, it hasn't been 7 days. Doc said you were to wear it 7 – 10 days/transitioning out of boot at home only. If you were to be at school or with friends the boot was ON....PERIOD.
H ~ via phone ~ Mom...puuuuuhlllleeeeeezzzzz, my foot doesn't hurt.
Me ~ No, it hasn't been 7 days. End of discussion.
H ~ **interrupting** Mom......Mom........Mom, PLEASE !!!! Dad said.....Mom.....Mom,,, PLEASE !!
Me ~ I don't really care WHAT your Dad said. You and I, as well as your Dad, know that I OVERRULE ANYTHING your Dad may have said. NO !!!!
H ~ ****through gritted teeth**** FINE....click.
Thank God that's over with. Sheesh, when did he become such a WHINER ?!?!?!?
chime/ring/bells....text alert
H ~ OMG my foot if if doesn't even hurt *** I can only guess the “ if “ “ if “ were to be “ it”***
Me ~ He said you could after 7 days and the 7th day is tomorrow
H ~ OMG it doesn't hurt AT ALL
M ~ You know what ? I'm done with this discussion and your defiant attitude DO NOT PUSH ME 7 days means 7 days and that is what it will be PERIOD END OF DISCUSSION
H ~ I didn't mean that rude I'm just emphasizing **big word** that it doesn't hurt
Me ~ I understand that I get what you are saying but if you don't do what the doc says you WILL end up having to go back in for surgery because you caused permanent damage to your foot for NOT following his request
H ~ okay sorry
M ~ AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME YOU WILL BE STAYING HOME IN YOUR ROOM WITH NO XBOX NO TV NO COMPUTER NO WRESTLING ARE WE CLEAR
H ~ Yes
Then it hit me. I think I liked him a bit better when he was little and couldn't talk back !!! Oh yeah, and lets not forget to mention, that I have indeed turned into my Mother !!!!! ***gasp/sputter/ppphhhttttt***

I need a drink !!!! I don't think I can make it through the next 4 years.

Sunday.....Sunday.....Sundaaaaayyyyyy.....

sweep/mop/vacuum/dust/bathrooms/kitchen/change sheets/makes beds/grocery shop/watch some football/go to a baby shower/shower before baby shower/laundry/cook dinner/pick up in-laws from airport/read/post a blog........breath

Conjuction junction, what's your function......

or perhaps better said, "What's your malfunction ?"  I read daily, the blog of my "twin".   I enjoy catching up on her life.  Her accomplishments.  Her children.  Her dreams and goals.  Her love affair with hurricanes and her local weatherman !!!  We are eerily similar.  Movies, books, music, interests, even birthdays.  Heck, when my hair was longer we could have probably passed as twins !!!  Here's the thing though.  I've never met her.  We don't even live close to each other.  Yet, I sit and read about her life and it's as if I have known her all of mine.  I find it amazing, with all she has going on, she finds the time to blog.  Be it posting/reading/commenting.  I'm amazed !!

I used to blog daily.  Then I had to switch gears and focus on my wedding.  That's done and over with.  Looking back, I probably should have blogged that entire time, I might have been a little less stressed.  Naaaahhhh !!!!   

So I decide to revamp.  Retool.  Update my blog.  Make it a little more me.   Than just the generic boring blah blah blah template.  So I think.  I search.  I write down witty things about me.  I check out her blog so I know what I want to add.  Cause lets face it, she's got some VERY cool things on her page !!!  I'm ready to post.  I'm ready to...... " Oh crap !!!!! ".  I can't remember what e-mail I used, let alone the password !!!  At least I remembered it was blogger !!!!

Lss (long story short), I figured it out.  The e-mail/password thing that is.  Even after several e-mails with my "twin" and a rather stern talking to !!!!  A lot of cussing on my part, I have some things added to my page.  I even, on my own have her LINKED !!!! Don't ask me how as no one in this house has left me alone long enough to retain how I actually did it !!!!

So there, twin of mine.  A recent post.  Just for you.  Now I must go cook dinner in the hopes of quieting the masses so that I can get started on 1 of the 5 books I picked up from the Library today.  

What the h*^& was I thinking ?!?!?  

The way it ought to be.......

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believeI'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe And I shall believe
Open the door and show me your face tonight
I know it's true No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again would I turn away from you i'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe..........Sheryl Crow

This track was playing in my car today when I received a text from my very very bff in Texas. She's scared. Overwhelmed. Confused. The words that were spoken to her have made her this way. She has cancer. She had the bout of cervical last year. Had surgery. Chemo. MRI'S. IT was gone. She was clean. Healthy. Last week there was a lump in her breast. She went to the Dr.. Biopsy. MrI'S. CT Scans. Breast lump fine. MRI'S/CT Scans. Not fine. She has cancer in her stomach/esophagus. She goes is Monday for surgery. I'm scared. I'm foggy. I'm confused.

She has been in my life since we were 16 years old. That's when we met. From that moment on we were inseparable. Though our lives have taken us in different directions/locations/situations. We have always stayed connected. I was there for the birth and death of her 1st child. I was there for the birth of her 2nd child. She was here for the birth of my son. She is the ying to my yang. I don't know what to say to her. Anytime I even so much as think the words I break down in tears.

I know it is not in my hands. As the song states. I know that life doesn't turn out the way you think it should. I just want her to know. I'm not giving up on you. So please don't you give up on you. Have faith. Please.

I just wanna cry.......no fair....no fair....no fair......I don't want to play the grown-up anymore.