After..............

a series of unfortunate events ~ 5 Dr's. appointments ~ 2 lab panels ~ being put back on BP meds ~ 4 changes in dosage to those BP meds ~ I am having surgery today ~ It al started 3 weeks ago when I discovered a lump in my belly ~ After having, over eaten at lunch I was rubbing said belly and felt a lump ~ The Bean of Mean thought it felt like a hernia ~ No problem, I've had one of those before ~ Granted I was 8 ~ That was a Wednesday ~ It was the size of my thumb ~ By the following Tuesday it was the size of hot dog ~ And was becoming rather bothersome ~ Couldn't sleep on my left side ~ Was bothered by sitting ~ Bending over ~ You name it ~ It bugged me ~ So I called the Dr. who felt around and around ~ She had no clue ~ Referred me to a Surgeon ~ I went the following week ~ Now said lump was abut the size of a banana ~ MY BP was 154/105 ~ Not so good ~ The Surgeon said it was a tumor ~ A fatty tumor ~ "It's not a tuma", I said in my best Arnold voice ~ It needs to come out she said ~ We however won't touch you until you get our BP down ~ Yeah, well in my defense it was fine until this lump showed up ~ About 3 days before I found it actually I started feeling my pulse in my ear ~ I asked if it was possible for it to be a 50 # tumor ~ She said, "No." ~ Well, ok fine ~ Could you do liposuction to remove all the fat, so that I don't get another one ~ Again, she said, "no." ~ Fine, I'll go to my Dr. today and get back on BP meds ~ I did ~ I'm not happy about that ~ Especially since they have upped the dosage 4 times in order to get my BP in operation guidelines ~ Which, according to the Surgeon was 130-140/80 ~ PERIOD ~ I am proud to say, after several dizzying weeks ~ My BP this morning was 117/72 ~ I want this done ~ Not because I'm freaked out about it ~ I want it done because I AM HUNGRY ~ I haven't been able to eat SOLID food since 5:00 pm ~ YESTERDAY ~ Oh I could have all the chicken broth and clear liquids I wanted ~ I asked if Vodka consisted of a clear liquid ~ It is clear and in liquid form ~ The Surgeons office said, "Ummmm, NO ????" ~ I had to inform her I was ONLY kidding ~ Sheesh, sense of humor much ?!?!? So, I'm off to get Tina tucked in a way.................RFLMAO !!!!!